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This week’s post comes from guest author Jules Bartlett, and continues our Feminology series on being a soft woman of God. In case you missed it, here is last week’s post by Wendy! 


When looking up the definition of “soft,” many different things came up. Some definitions had more of a negative connotation, using words like, “easy to mold” or “ silly and foolish.” Other definitions focused more on being “emotional” or “embracing one’s tender side” You may be thinking, is this really what it means for us as women to be soft? Are these the definitions God had in mind when creating women in this way? Surely God has called all Christians to be strong and courageous, to be hard workers for His glory. And surely God does not want us to be easily molded by pop culture, to be foolish in our ways, or be run by our emotions. Then what does it mean for us to be soft women of God?

As I dug into the Word to find the meaning of being soft as a woman, I found three different themes that consistently came up. Them being; having words that are soft, a spirit that is soft, and a heart that is soft.

Words That Are Soft

The Bible is full of warnings about the tongue and the power that it has. We have the power to tear people down or build them up based on our words and tone. Now, we are still called to rebuke, reprove, and even use a firm tone when disciplining a child. At the same time we can accomplish these things while having our words come from a place of love. To have our words be for the edification of those we are speaking to.

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Proverbs 15:1-2

“Let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth, but if there is any good word for edification according to the need of the moment, say that, so that it will give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29

“She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.”
Proverbs 31:26

Our words should be soft, meaning they should build up, encourage, and speak wisdom to those around us.

A Spirit That Is Soft

Your adornment must not be merely the external—braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or putting on apparel; but it should be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.” 
1 Peter 3:3-4

This passage reveals what a woman’s spirit should be and how a woman is to express this spirit outwardly. In 1 Peter it shows that our spirit should be gentle and quiet, humble and not seeking attention to build ourselves up. Our outward appearance is a reflection of what our inward spirit is. It is not meant to be loud and draw attention but rather is to be soft and quiet. This is precious in the sight of God. 

A Heart That is Soft

“Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.”
Ezekiel 36:26

“While it is said, “Today if you hear His voice,
Do not harden your hearts, as when they provoked Me.”
”Hebrews 3:15

When we come alive in Christ we are given a heart of flesh. Our heart of stone is removed. If we claim Christ as Savior we must have a soft heart towards God and His Word. We see in Hebrews a clear command to not harden our hearts towards God’s Word. But how do we keep our hearts soft towards God? 

We must read the Word and ask God to teach and fill us from it. We need to be quick to repent of our sin and do not allow it to fester. To listen when someone points out our sin and to be sensitive to the Spirit’s conviction. This is what it looks like for a woman of God to have a soft heart.


As women, God has called us to many things. And He has clearly laid out in His Word how we are to live. Being a soft woman is only one aspect of how women were created.This does not excuse us to not be industrious or strong. Rather, in these things we are to remain soft women of God. So, what areas in your life need to be softened? Do you need to speak encouragement to your husband instead of criticism? Or maybe you need to humble your spirit from seeking attention. Or do you need to repent of sin in order to soften your heart towards God? May we take steps to be soft women of God in our words, spirit, and heart. 

In love,
Jules

Jules Bartlett

Author Jules Bartlett

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